I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
