She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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