xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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