If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
