if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
