She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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