She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
