Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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