you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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