I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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