somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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