Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
