We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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