You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
