he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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