You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
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