I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Found your dick twin last night
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
