And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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