im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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