She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I currently don't understand fingers.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
