I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
