windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
