If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
