i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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