Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
