the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
