Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He felt like a one man threesome
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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