I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
