The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
