I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
