Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
