its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I pour the whiskey from now on
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
