My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
