Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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