So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
