She is in my trunk
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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