I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
