Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
