I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
