I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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