Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
this hospital has no fireball
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
