ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
