I've blown a few things in my day
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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