69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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