She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
