dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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