you guys were way drunker than both of me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
