Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
