marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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