Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
