I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
