I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
one might say we're banned from that church
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
