ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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